02.27.07
And the heavens opened
Scrap that
So forget that last post. And for those that didn’t know I was joking, I want to reiterate that this post is not asking for money either. I’m posting this on here so that 1) if any of you have ideas for me that would help, you’ll give em; and 2) so that you can hope and pray along with me that this will work out.
I’m a little worried about my finances for this trip. You saw the incredibly hopeful itinerary. And you should know that itinerary is supposed to happen in under $2500. As of right now, I have $1500 wrapped up just in plane tickets. That leaves 1k for travel between sites in each country/region, housing, and food.
In case you didn’t know, Ireland is one of the world’s fastest growing economies (3rd in the world) and is now possibly the most expensive place in Europe to visit. While there, I have to travel the entire length of the island and back. There is a bus/rail pass for 8 days of unlimited travel that runs about $175. This might be my best deal. But aside from the hostel in belfast, the housing isn’t cheap. Even the hostels in the other areas are running upwards of $20 a night for dormitory housing.
Once I reach the Balkans, there is some travel to pay for, as well as travel from Lyon, France to Taize to Paris.
So far, my budget is looking like this:
$1500.00 – plane tickets
$350.00 – housing (for all 21 days I am on my own: very good, but needs to be better)
$175.00 – travel around Ireland
$75 – estimated travel in Balkans
$150 – estimated travel in France
Total: $2250
That total leaves me $250 dollars for 21 days of food and no room for any unexpected expenses whatsoever. Some have said this will be plenty, but I’ve spoken with about a dozen or more people living in each area and they all say it’s going to cost way more than that to eat.
My only options right now are to find more free housing and less expensive travel. If you could all help me scour for free housing in these places:
Dublin, Ireland; Derry, Northern Ireland; Dubrovnik, Croatia; Lyon and Paris, France. I’ll stay anywhere that’s free: monasteries, churches, homes, places I can do work in return for lodging….
There is always the option to scrap the lat portion of the trip: visiting Taize. Unfortunately, I’m flying home from Paris, so I would still need to fly from Sarajevo direct to Paris. This would save me from paying for lodging in Lyon and travel from Lyon to Paris. I’d estimate it would probably save me around $200.
Help.
02.23.07
Anyone feeling generous?
Who wants to donate $150 ($130 for ticket and $10 each way to get back and forth from where I’m staying) so I can go to the Oxegen festival in Dublin?
A very engrossing boook.
One of the best opening lines of a book I have ever read:
“I was born on January 31, 1979 – a Wednesday. I know it was a Wednesday, because the date is blue in my mind and Wednesdays are always blue, like the number 9 or the sound of loud voices arguing”
02.22.07
Something to lift a heavy soul
This helps:
Wednesday, June 27th – Missy and I fly out to Dublin
Thursday, June 28th – Arrive in Dublin; get situated and relax
Friday, June 29th – Travel down to Glencree Center for Peace and Reconciliation for some research and stay the night
Saturday, June 30th through Tuesday, July 3rd – Travel throughout Ireland and spend time in Dublin
Wednesday, July 4th – Visit Trinity College, a school I will be applying to for PhD studies, and speak with the Director of the program. Relax in Dublin.
Thursday, July 5th through Saturday, July 7th – Missy flies home and I head to Rostrevor, a monastery in Northern Ireland
Saturday, July 7th through Wednesday, July 11th – Head to Belfast and meet with Healing Through Remembering, Mediation Northern Ireland, Cooperation Ireland, visit the Belfast campus of Trinity College and speak with the Director of the Reconciliation programs there.
Thursday, July 12th and Friday, July 13th – Head north to Derry, the site of the Bloody Sunday Massacre. Also spend time at the Corrymeela community.
Saturday, July 14th – Return to Dublin. Relax.
Sunday, July 15th – Process some of the research, spend time writing.
Monday, July 16th – Fly to Dubrovnik
Tuesday, July 17th – Meet with Renewing Our Minds Initiative.
Wednesday, July 18th – Travel to Sarajevo, stay at the St. Anthony’s monastery.
Thursday, July 19th through Sunday, July 22nd – Meet with the Nansen Centre for Dialogue and Face to Face Religious Service and Pontanima, an inter-religious choir.
Monday, July 23rd – Fly to Lyon, France. Long layover in Vienna, Austria.
Tuesday, July 24th and Wednesday, July 25th – Stay at the Taize community in central France.
Thursday, July 26th – Travel to Paris. Process some research, write.
Friday, July 27th – Fly home
02.21.07
A hard weekend
I’ll try to make this brief by just telling you what happened and some brief reactions.
Our foster child spent time with another foster parent this weekend, one who had two of his brothers. It didn’t go well and he had to be brought back early. When he came home, he was very combative, similar to last Sunday’s explosion.
We finally got him calmed down and we went to church. He did pretty well and the rest of the evening wasn’t a problem at all.
Monday morning I was getting some work done on the Jeep and missy called to say he was losing it again. He was told he couldn’t play pool because he disobeyed missy and he started into the yelling. Missy brought him home and we tried to talk to him. It took a good amount of time, but he finally calmed down.
I went to work later in the day and got a call not long after that he had started again. He had been upset because he knew he wasn’t going to be able to see his brothers this week. That turned into kicking chairs over and running away from missy. She didn’t know where he had went, whether he was even in the building. Because it was President’s day, there were no social workers available and our only option was to call the police.
By the time they arrived, he had returned to her office, but he was kicking and biting and spitting. He punched both missy and her co-worker. And he was certainly only acting out of anger, but there were some death threats in there as well. By the time I got there, the cop had handcuffed him to a chair. That was real wierd.
He stayed with us that night and yesterday we had a hearing and he was placed with a therapeutic foster care family. And three of his brothers will be with him.
Missy and I just felt like things were escalating and we weren’t prepared to deal with it. As much as I felt like we had to offer, I just didn’t know what to do for him that would help with these explosive anger situations. My hope is that this therapy home will be better equipped to help him. Of course, none of that helps me not feel like we couldn’t have done more, or that we did enough. It sucks.
The only part that made me really angry about the whole thing was what happened at the court house yesterday. They marched his mother (in her prison garb, ankle chains and handcuffs) right past him into the courtroom. He broke down when he saw her. And after the hearing, she walked out of the courtroom, leaned down to him and said “I’m getting out on Friday and you’re coming home then.”
She knows that isn’t true. She’s been in jail 2 weeks and hasn’t contacted her lawyer. She didn’t even know his name. She gets out Friday and her court date is Monday, where they will most likely not award her custody of any of the kids.
I’m a little too drained to make a huge deal of this on here, and frankly, I don’t really care to make one at all. But I did want to let you all know that he’s not with us anymore.
02.12.07
Yesterday…again
Last night was a rough night…more so for Missy than for me. I was in Cincinnati with a friend and was called back to Springfield because our “adoptee” kind of lost it. I don’t know that Missy has ever been treated so badly. She was called just about every 4 letter word and a few others. He tried to run away from the church to go home and she had to hold him for an hour and a half while he struggled and kicked her. By the time I got there, he was mostly winding down, though it took a while to convince him he should come home with us. He was exhausted, as was Missy. It was hard to put away the anger I felt because she was so mistreated and to see who he is and what his situation is. I did my best, and I hope we both did what was best for him.
Overall, it has been going very well. He has been warming up to us and had a good time with our family this weekend. We went out to eat with Missy’s parents and my mom on Saturday and he was showing off a bit, as 8 year olds do, mostly because he never goes out to eat. I’d expect that from a family with 8 kids, no matter how much money you have.
I took him to school this morning and talked with his teacher. He’s a smart kid, which we knew, but his teacher said he’s never done his homework so she’s been reluctant to push him. His mother never works on schoolwork with him or asks him to work on it himself. His teacher asked me if I would work on his reading with him if she placed him in an advanced reading group. My hope is that he’ll see that as a good thing. He had a good day at school today and his teacher sent a note home with him to tell us. I told him I was proud of him and wanted to ask if he knew what that meant…if he’d ever heard it.
I think it’s a difficult situation to try and figure out how to all the sudden parent an 8 year old. It gets a little more complicated when you try and figure out how to talk to him about his mom in jail and his dad that doesn’t want to see him. I don’t have answers for his questions, and I certainly don’t have the ones he wants to hear.
Again, it seems to be going pretty well. And I’d expect at least one or two more incidents like last night. When he gets angry at something (last night he couldnt sit where he wanted in church), everything else comes along with it. It’s understandable.
Thanks to Jason for scrapping our plans last night and driving right back to Beavercreek after we reached Cincy. And thanks to everyone who has written or called or prayed. We are thankful.
02.09.07
That’s how you buy a bag
I just bought this bag for my trip. Original price: $275.00 plus shipping. I paid $84.73 and had it shipped to a store near Missy’s parents.
As doug says, “Only suckers pay retail dude.”
Oh, and things are going well. Thanks to all of you that have contacted me and offered help, etc. We appreciate it.
02.07.07
Almost forgot…
This morning, on our way out to Meijer, our guest said “Brandon, I’m sorry I yelled at you yesterday.” I told him it was okay. I told him I knew that he was angry and scared and that he didn’t mean what he said. I told him I appreciated him apologizing…that it was a big thing to do.
Later today, he told Missy the same thing, that he was sorry. She said a lot of stuff similar to what I had told him. He said “Hey, that’s what Brandon said.”
